Allright, after getting some sleep and reading over the last journal entry, I see I focused entirely on the negative aspects of the trip, and it really wasn't ALL bad. As I write this, they're announcing school closures over the radio due to the horrendous weather - which is something we were able to escape for a few weeks during our trip. The little rain we did see in the caribbean never lasted more than an hour, and even then, it wasn't at all unpleasant to be out in the rain. It was pleasantly warm outside day and night. I packed a warm pull-over, but I never wore it.

And the food was awesome. There's a big buffet area that's open pretty much all day, then every evening you go to the big fancy dining room and a big fancy meal served to you. We had a waiter, an assistant waiter and a head waiter (which means 3 people to tip instead of just the one, but we're focusing on the positive today). I was seated at table number 420, which I took to be a good omen. I didn't toke the entire time, but I ate like I had a constant case of the munchies. Pretty much anywhere you go on the boat, you're never far from a bar, and those $6 drinks were pretty good. I put back a fair number of pina coladas, and you get to keep the glass, which is good, cause I'm moving out right away and I need to start stocking up on things like that.

The boat had 3 swimming pools on it. A little kiddie pool, a pool for everyone and a third pool in a quiet solarium that was reserved for adults only, so you didn't have to deal with screaming kids running around and peeing in that one. I spent most of my free time on the boat chillaxing in that solarium. They held a belly flop competition so me and my little brother signed up. There were 4 other skinny dudes, but they couldn't hold a candle. You don't bring a sword to a gun fight, and you don't bring a washboard stomache to a belly flop competition. This one dude tried doing some fancy 360 spin move to impress the crowd, but bottom line, he didn't have the belly, so his belly flop was... well, a flop. I walked up to the pool with my towel wrapped around me like a cape and totally hammed it up. I shouted "I am the walrus! Goo-goo-Gajooob!" and got a perfect score, winning the gold medal. My little brother got the silver. I think the 360 spin guy took the bronze.

There was karaoke on this boat. It wasn't the greatest karaoke, it only went 4 nights, and each of those was only, like, an hour long, so you only get one song, and if you get there late, you probably don't sing at all. They did have a karaoke super-star thing, sort of like American Idol. Now I've always thought that show and every spin-off of it were total bunk and I've never sung karaoke competitivly before, but competitive karaoke is better than sitting in your stateroom and watching the cartoon network in spanish all night, so I decided to give it a shot. We actually had the whole family up there representing. My older brother (who was getting married on this cruise) sang a sappy love song to his new bride, the old man sang some B.T.O. while mom and the new daughter in law were back-up dancers, and my little brother went out there and sang some, but he kind of picked a lame song and he had a bit of a cold, so he didn't make it to the finals. Anyhow, I tore the roof off the sucka with a little song I like to call "She Bangs" which is actually it's a Ricky Martin song, but he wears padded trousers to make his butt look more shapely. My awesome singing voice, groovy dance moves, and 100% grade A canadian beef buttocks won me the title of Karaoke Super Star. Oh yeah, and I was hung-over when I sang it too. Snoogins.

Most of the trip and on the way home I had people commending my belly flop and karaoke skills. I try not to get too much of a swollen head over it. I found a gold-medal winning belly-flop doesn't win much favour with the ladies and the karaoke thing was the last night of the trip, so I enjoyed a victory drink in an empty bar while everyone else was frantically packing in anticipation for the journey home. I did try my hand at wooing some chick from Kentucky, but she didn't seem particularly interested in me. I bought her a $6 drink and she didn't even finish the damn thing, which is impolite to say the least. She could have told me to go piss up a rope and saved me the $6.

Anyhow, if any of you sexy ladies reading this are turned on by guys who sing, scupt boobies, and belly-flop, don't be shy, drop me a line. Next update should be from my new place. I'm just a few days away from moving out now.